magikalmaiNtenance

"I feel fat." I look up from my bed and I see my friend whose come to visit me in my dorm. She stands in front of our mirror, the rest of my roommates are out somewhere. I stare at her, horrified. Shes pulled up her shirt to show a perfectly toned tummy, shes muscular, sure, but fat? Never. Her muscles take up most of her frame so she's a little thick maybe, but she looks healthy. Fit. Toned. A healthy teenage girl. A million replies leap to my tongue, the usual things you say in this situation: 'What, fat? Nooo look at my thighs!' 'YOU ARE NOT FAT SHUT UP, LOOK AT MY TUMMY, I'M THE FAT ONE!" 'Shuttup.' 'You're fine.' ....etc. Blah blah bla

so hi. ... im bored. :)

29 days until I leave this place for good. 29 days until I leave China. with 4 weeks left until the end of this stage of my life, a lot comes to mind at midnight while im sitting on my balcony sneaking a smoke. I'm going to miss nanjing. This is home, a mixture of heaven and hell, a sanctuary and a war zone at the same time. I'm going to miss the nanjing spring, the deep orange tinted blue skies and the smokey breeze. I'm going to miss my family, my dads anecdotes about his childhood and his red skinny jeans, my moms spoken abuse against the teachers who gave me bad grades, my little brother calling my boyfriend a dumb sheep, my big brot